Better Than Your Average Christmas Card!

Greetings! In lieu of our normal painstakingly handwritten and expensive gold-embossed cards, we’ve decided, instead, to point you towards this blog post — The Yule Edition.

The Brians will always remember 2006 as the year when every family member was able to use the bathroom facilities with minimal or no aid. (Way to go, Danny!) Other incomprehensibly huge and mind-blowing accomplishments include:

Annie no longer refers to herself as a “boy.” (Gender behavior modification narrowly avoided! Phew!) Actually, Annie is solidly located on the girly end of the spectrum. She dances all day long in princess dresses and preens in front of the mirror. We are so proud. She has started preschool this year and totally wipes the floor with all the other toddlers. Annie is fluent in German, Spanish, French, and Kazakh. Annie also recognizes the letter “A.”

This year, Tess has been successfully institutionalized. That’s right! She’s in kindergarten! What’s that? Do you hear what I hear? Angels singing! Or is it that the sound of Marie’s head exploding in pure nirvanic bliss? Tess likes to sing, draw monsters, and have near-death experiences by jumping off the sofa. In her spare time, Tess volunteers at a soup kitchen and knits body-socks for homeless puppies. Tess also recognizes the letter “A.”

And as for Garron, what can we say? When Garron won a Fields Medal for successfully proving the Twin Prime Conjecture, he blew us all away. Garron likes to keep his hands as supple as his mind by playing hours of video games specially programmed by NASA for gifted children. Garron also enjoys video games, video games, and . . . wait for it . . . video games. Garron recognizes the letter “A” as the “jump button.”

Marie has had a bit of her writing published this year and now insouciantly does the housework while wearing a beret and dangling a bubblegum cigarette from her lips. After years of heavy bleach fumes, Marie no longer recognizes the letter “A.”

Danny has had quite a year himself! With the success of his Victorian Thriller “The Definitive Guide to Berkeley DB XML” Danny has established himself as an indispensable member of the Corsets and Code Literati. And as for the letter “A,” Danny thinks the running joke to be quite droll.

Well, that’s it for the Brians! Merry Christmas!